EXT. OUTSIDE CHICAGO PLAYBOY CLUB (A FEW DAYS LATER)
Dana's walking down Michigan Avenue toward the CHICAGO
PLAYBOY CLUB.
The Playboy Club FLAGS are snapping in the stiff October
shoreline breeze.
Dana stops to look in the Playboy Club show window and of
course sees several gorgeous BUNNIES, which sets her back.
Then she hears a club announcer's voice before responding to
a DOORMAN who's calling out to her.
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen...the world
famous, one and only...Chicago
Playboy Club.
(repeating in the background)
DOORMAN
Need some help, little lady?
DANA
I have an appointment with Adrienne
Foote. I'm supposed to apply for a
position as a Bunny, but I'm not at
all sure I should, you know, that I
qualify. I really don't think
there's much use in my keeping the
appointment. This was just a
fantasy--and not even my fantasy.
DOORMAN
Now, you shouldn't feel that way. I
think you're real pretty, ma'am.
You just go right up them stairs
and you give 'em your best.
INT. CHICAGO PLAYBOY CLUB -DAY
Dana does walk through the open door leading her to a brand
new life.
She passes the GIFT SHOP and notices the pictures on the
wall of Playboy PLAYMATES and Bunnies, then up the stairs.
Sitting down in the waiting area, Dana passes time before
her appointment watching the actual Bunnies go by and
sensing the the mystique that surrounds them and the Playboy
organization.
Finally, she's called into ADRIANNE's office.
ADRIENNE
So, you're Murray Laterman's
friend?
Dana just watches her as she speaks.
Adrienne is the living breathing standard of what a PLAYBOY
BUNNY symbolized.
Adrienne hands Dana an APPLICATION.
ADRIENNE
(continuing)
Is that the real color of your
hair?
DANA
No, I dyed it blond a couple of
months ago. I'm really a redhead, I
mean I've had red hair almost all
my life, though I'm really a
brunette.
ADRIENNE
I'll tell you one thing right now.
The blond hair goes, get back to
your normal color and stop biting
your fingernails--get false ones.
Lose ten pounds immediately! Watch
what you eat. Short people show the
pounds they put on instantly.
You're short you realize.
DANA
Fine, anything you say.
ADRIENNE
Now, go upstairs and get fitted for
a costume.
DANA
Does that mean...?
ADRIENNE
It doesn't mean a damn thing. Just
go up to the dressing room and ask
for LUCY. She'll fit you for a
costume and meanwhile I can look
over this application. Then I'll
see how you look in the costume.
Dana finds Lucy and the dressing room and enters.
Lucy, a matronly middle-aged Black woman, helps the Bunnies
with whatever problems they are having.
She looks Dana over.
LUCY
You here for a fittin'?
DANA
That's right.
LUCY
You better try on a 36-C
DANA
You know, I'm at best a 34-B.
LUCY
You were a 34-B. You are now a
36-C. You leave the details to Miss
Lucy.
Lucy helps Dana adjust to her new look.
They shove white fluffy bunny tails hear and there until the
costume fits properly.
LUCY
(continuing)
That's it. Jam a few more under
your tits. They fill things out
just fine. Front office still can't
figure out why we go through so
many of these little tails each
year. If they only knew.
(giggling)
Dana is feeling awkward and insecure until she catches a
glimpse of herself in a mirror.
LUCY
(continuing)
Yes...you look great. Don't feel so
strange. It takes time to get used
to this whole thing.
EXT. OUTSIDE CHICAGO PLAYBOY CLUB - LATER AFTERNOON
Dana's approaching the main exit and she spots the doorman.
DANA
I made it! I think I actually made
it!
DOORMAN
I knew you would!
Dana skips and struts down the sidewalk with a thick book
under her arm; the BUNNY BIBLE.
Arriving home, she is confronted by her grandmother over her
decision to become a Playboy Bunny.
INT. DANA'S GRANDPARENTS' HOME
Dana is entering her grandparents' home.
DANA
Granny, I made it. I think they're
going to let me be a Playboy Bunny!
GRANDMOTHER
You what?
Grandmother is confused and shaking her separated hands over
her head as is the Italian custom for expressing
aggravation.
DANA
A Bunny, and it's a perfectly
respectable profession for a woman.
I'll be working at the famous
Playboy Club downtown. Oh, Granny,
it's going to be terribly exciting.
Try to understand, please.
GRANDMOTHER
Oh my God in heaven. A rabbit. A
Playboy rabbit. You'll end up naked
for everyone to see your body.
You'll have staples in your navel
like those other bad girls.
DANA
Granny, settle down. Bunny, not
rabbit. This is a wonderful
opportunity for me. I am going to
be a Playboy Bunny. Do you have any
idea how many girls want to work
for Playboy? It's very special and
very professional.
GRANDMOTHER
You'll have to sleep with that
terrible man, Leffner! You, the
mother of two babies. Shame on you.
Think of the children. Oh, Dana,
think of your grandparents.
DANA
Granny, I don't have to sleep with
anybody . . . and his name is Mr.
Hugh Hefner, not Leffner. I'll
probably never see him. It's
completely different than you
think.
GRANDMOTHER
I forbid it! My granddaughter is
not going to be a Playboy rabbit.
Where did I go wrong? Momma mia,
momma mia.
DANA
Bunny, Granny, Playboy Bunny! And
I'm going to do it. It may be the
best thing that ever happened in my
life.
Grandmother gives up and goes to a small room in the house
with a CATHOLIC ALTAR.
A visiting neighbor, PHILAMINNA, accompanies her.
INT. ALTAR ROOM IN GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE
The two elderly Italian women light candles and say prayers
to a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
GRANDMOTHER
Blessed Madonna, you stop Dana so
she not do this terrible thing.
PHILAMINNA
Thassa right, and ifa you don'ta do
as she says I'ma gona through you
right out on the street.
(with threatening gestures)
GRANDMOTHER
NO...NO...Philaminna, don'ta say
such things.
INT. GRANDMOTHER'S LIVING ROOM
Later that night Dana is sitting in a living room chair
STUDYING the Playboy manual. While Dana is talking we see
scenes of the Playboy Club operating on a typical evening
shift.
DANA (V.O.)
The more I learned about Playboy
the more I was impressed. Every
detail of the operation of the club
was spelled out. The mystique that
Playboy wanted to create for its
customers was captured word for
word on the pages of their manual.
The Playboy Club was a carefully
choreographed and strictly
structured business. It was my job
as a Playboy Bunny to effortlessly
guide the customer each step of the
way through the sensual playground
that was the Chicago Playboy Club.
Dana finishes reading the manual and HUGS IT tightly before
going to bed.
INT. PLAYBOY CLUB TRAINING AREA - DAY
Dana and the other recruits are assembled waiting for KELLY
COLLINS to begin the session. Kelly, the epitome of grace
and style, and KEITH HEFNER's girlfriend, enters the room
and steps up to a podium.
It is Kelly's job to mold the girls into the Bunny Image.
KELLY
Listen up gang!
(waits for quiet)
Making it past Adrienne is a piece
of cake. You are not a Playboy
Bunny until I say you are. The
record will show that about half of
the prospective Bunnies who get
this far, get no further.
Now, let me make one thing
abundantly clear. If you came here
to meet men, or operate as some
kind of a swinger, get out right
now. Anyone caught giving their
telephone number to a customer is
finished on the spot. Hugh Hefner
is a very busy man and the last
time I checked there wasn't one
Bunny on his appointment calendar.
The number two guy is his brother,
Keith, and he's my boyfriend, need
I say more, cuties. Now, Playboy
isn't broken, so don't set out on
your own to fix it! You do exactly
as I tell you and exactly as you
read in the Playboy Manual and you
may have a shot at surviving this
week. You deviate one iota and
you're history!
DANA
(to herself)
Yes, Ms. Collins, yes, Ms. Collins,
right Ms. Collins, thank you, Ms.
Collins.
KELLY
Alright, the first thing you're
going to learn is the Bunny Dip.
Watch this demonstration.
DANA (V.O.)
One of the experienced Bunnies
showed us how to execute the Bunny
Dip, a way of bending backwards
with a tray of drinks so that in
case of any mishap the spillage
wouldn't find its way onto the
customer. A proper Bunny Dip also
gives the customer a close-up salty
view of a Bunny's breasts. We were
shown films, we listened to
lectures, and took written and
performance tests. I loved what I
was a part of. I was determined to
be first in my graduating class.
Finally, at the end of the week
there were three recruits
remaining, and I was one of them!
My first night working as a Playboy
Bunny was not exactly the dream
come true I'd hoped for.
INT. PLAYBOY CLUB - CARTOON CORNER
Dana is serving a few customers in the quiet Cartoon Corner
with her SUPERVISOR nearby. Dana notices a large group of
ten people approaching her station.
SUPERVISOR
Alright, Dana, just stay calm and
do the job you've been well trained
for.
Dana sighs then walks over to the horseshoe BOOTH where the
GROUP sat down.
DANA
Hello, I'm Bunny Dana. Welcome to
the Playboy Club. May I take your
cocktail order, please?
Dana takes a series of orders before reaching BENNY DUNNE.
Recognizing him as a VIP with the authority to fire her on
the spot should she make a mistake, Dana is flustered.
DANA
(continuing)
May I take your order, please.
BENNY DUNNE
Give me tomato juice.
He barks at Dana and that upsets her.
She doesn't even notice the last man who orders a drink, a
distinguished someone she should have recognized.
Dana walks back to her bar station and waits for the orders
to be filled.
DANA
God, do you see who's at my
station?
WAITRESS
Yeah, and he's so handsome
DANA
Handsome!? Benny Dunne...he looks
like a friggin' horse.
WAITRESS
No, No, not him, Dana. The other
guy, stupid. Don't you recognize
him? That's...
Dana stops paying attention to what she's saying because her
drink tray is now loaded.
She carefully carries the tray over to the booth.
Dana positions herself and executes a perfect Bunny Dip.
She delivers the first drink and the next six drinks, then
she comes to Benny Dunne.
She reaches for his tomato juice and the tray slips from her
grasp spilling the juice on Benny.
BENNY DUNNE
You dumb bitch! You stupid fool!
Who the hell are you? Look what you
did. You got tomato juice all over
my pants.
Dana's supervisor quickly comes to the rescue.
SUPERVISOR
Benny...Benny, please. It's her
first night. Take it easy, we'll
get everything straightened out.
(turning to Dana)
Bunny Dana, please clean off the
table and we'll start over.
Everybody just relax, I'm very
sorry.
DANA
I am so so sorry.
(turning to the last man)
Dana starts cleaning up the mess.
ANDY WILLIAMS
Don't worry sweetheart, it could
have happened to anyone.
Dana finally takes a good look and backs away like a
starstruck schoolgirl.
DANA
Oh my God. You're Andy Williams!
Mr. Williams, I'm so thrilled, I
mean, sorry that I spilled...Jeez I
spilled on Andy Williams...
ANDY WILLIAMS
Don't worry about Benny, he's a
loudmouth. He shouldn't talk to any
of you kids in here that way, and I
intend to tell someone about it,
too.
DANA
You're in Las Vegas all the time,
aren't you, Mr. Williams?
ANDY WILLIAMS
Yeah, a lot of the time, why do you
ask?
DANA
My dad lives in Las Vegas. His name
is Christy Montana.
ANDY WILLIAMS
You're putting me on. I know your
dad! What a great guy. You won't
believe this, but I played golf
with him at the Desert Inn last
week. He's a terrific player. Wait
till I tell him that I met his
daughter. He must be real proud of
you, working as a Bunny.
DANA
I...I don't know, Mr. Williams. I
don't get to see him very often.
Benny Dunne interrupts Dana.
BENNY DUNNE
You...you clumsy fool...back off.
Don't you say another word to Mr.
Williams. Get away before you hurt
somebody else. You are a disaster.
I don't ever want to see you again!
DANA (V.O.)
Another Bunny took my place that
disastrous night. I was sent back
for two additional training days
after which I resumed my duties
without any other incidents. Unable
to date our customers, some of us
would meet after work for some
socializing at the Stork Club on
Rush Street.
EXT. STORK CLUB - EARLY MORNING
Dana and friends, GAYLE, a striking platinum blond, MARGIE,
a gorgeous woman with jet-black hair, and Dana, the redhead
approaching the club entrance.
INT. STORK CLUB
The Bunnies are local celebrities and people notice when
they walk in.
They sit down and a waitress takes their drink orders.
They never have to pay for a DRINK, however, as the owner
appreciates the fact that they come in to his bar.
Obnoxious CONVENTIONEERS bother the Bunnies but Dana
dispatches them in no short order.
CUSTOMER
Here come the Playboy Bunnies.
FRIEND
Yeah, aren't they something.
Dana and friends, GAYLE and MARGIE find an open table.
DANA (V.O.)
My friends and I would hang out at
the nearby Stork Club after work.
We never paid for a drink because
the owner liked the fact that we
came in. He said it gave the place
celebrity appeal. Gayle and Margie
were my two closest friends from
work. Together we made quite an
impression away from work. I was
short but curvaceous and always
wearing high heels; Gayle was a
stately striking platinum blond;
and Margie was a stunning woman
with jet-black hair. The minute we
walked in we attracted attention,
sometimes the wrong kind of
attention. Rush Street was a
conventioneers paradise. Lining the
street was a collection of strip
clubs, saloons, and nightclubs all
just a few steps from the Playboy
Club. The drunken conventioneers
couldn't resist a chance to score
with one of the Bunnies they might
have seen at the Playboy Club.
A drunken conventioneer approaching Dana's table.
CONVENTIONEER
Hey, I remember you girls from the
Playboy Club this evening. How
about showing us the town?
Dana gives the guy a disgusted look.
DANA
Get lost buster. We're alone, can't
you see that. We like it that way
and we're going to keep it that
way!
DANA (V.O.)
We were proud of who we were and
what we represented. We worked hard
but the rewards were worth it. I
wasn't the most beautiful Bunny by
a long stretch, but I had other
qualities. Because of my background
I was tough, personable, and
determined.
I knew I could make a name and a
place for myself with Playboy, and
realized it would take being
cunning not cute.
END OF DANCING STALLIONS - LIMITED TV SERIES - EPISODE 03
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